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If you write a love story that starts and ends with the same sentence what would it be?
“I think I’m falling in love with you.” He says to me as we are waiting for our food to arrive at our table. This is like our Sixth date, and he barely knows anything about me. Then again, I don’t even know much about him. “I know this is too soon. You don’t have to say anything back to me. I just felt like you should know.” I just sit here staring at him. I don’t even know how to stop this awkward thing that has now started and has stretched for more than five minutes. I look down at the table, so he doesn’t feel like I am just staring at him. I don’t even look up when the food gets placed in front of me a few moments later. I hear him sigh but he doesn’t say anything. This is making me think about how I feel about him. He is a nice guy and I like that he can cook. He doesn’t mind being different from most of his navy buddies. Am I ready to be alone for a long time? Like when he is deployed and there isn’t a way for him to contact me. This is all too much so quickly. I finally look up at him as he sets his fork down.
“I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if my feelings have reached that level yet. I know that you are getting deployed in three weeks and I won’t see you that much during these next few weeks and I don’t know how I feel about that. I know that I want to spend more time getting to know you and being around you. I know that I really like you, but I don’t know that I am falling in love with you yet.” Oh, fucking hell I’m just rambling now so i look back down at my half-eaten food. I quickly look back up when he starts laughing. “What?” I ask nervously.
“You’re so cute when you’re nervous. I figured you weren’t at my level of feelings and that is okay. I want to keep getting to know you and I am worried about you, with me leaving so soon into our relationship. I just wanted you to know where I am in all of this. I plan on contacting as much as i can.” He reaches a crossed the table. “I am not asking you to marry me, I’m just saying I think I’m falling for you. So please don’t panic.” He says as he rubs the back of my hand. I just nod and turn my hand within his and hold his hand. He smiles at our joined hands. I’m still panicking on the inside but not as much. We eat our food in a peaceful silence. When he heads to the bathroom, I wave over our waiter and ask for the check. When the check arrives, I pay for it in full. I know he isn’t going to like this but I feel like I need to do something since he bared his heart out in front of me. When he walks back to the table, he looks relieved that I am still sitting at the table. I stand up before he can sit back down and panic flashes across his face but is gone as quick as it showed up.
“Come on. I already paid and would like to go for a walk with you. If that’s okay?” I say trying to remain calm. My heart is racing and i don’t know why? I reach out for his hand and when he goes to grab mine his hand goes right through mine. I look at him and there is blood all over his face and he is translucent looking. “No” I sob as I jolt upright in my bed. It was just another nightmare. I lay back down hugging my pillow as the sobs take over. He is gone and I miss him so much. There are so many things i wish we got the chance to do but most of all why didn’t i tell him that “I think I’m in love with you.”
